Writer's Block
by FlightlessBird1122
Summary: Clare's got a secret, but doesn't everyone? Just when she's finally putting her life together one complication pops up that may just ruin everything. Eli is determined to find out but he's got some problems of his own. Celi-Eclare-Eli/Clare:
1. Dear Diary

**A/N- Okay, Ive been so super obsessed with clare and Eli lately that i just had to write one. I wrote this off my ipod with no spell check so please bear with me. If I wrote a full story my Soul Eater readers would kill me so i'm just posting a really long oneshot. Celi-4-eva!**

Writer's Block

Clare walked into the Ms. Kwan's English classroom, notebook in hand. She had an aggravated look on her face as she stalked over to the desk she shared with Eli.

She wasn't even in the mood to deal with his sarcastic teasing, which was odd since talking to him had become the highlight of her dreary days; There was no Jenna or K.C to ruin the class for her since she was taking a junior course and it was spent next to her cynically mysterious crush.

So what caused the long face?

Simple. Writer's block. An author's worst enemy. When, try as you may, ideas allude you and everything you scratch onto the paper is crap. Clare has been suffering from it ever since she left K.C at The Dot. That was over three months ago! Talk about frustrating!

Clare let out an angry growl before angrily plopping down in her seat. She could feel the intense stare Eli was giving her, as always, but this time he finally had a good reason to. Clare furiously scribbled down the first line of a story that she'd been working on since forever ago, and like always it came out totally wrong. Rather than just erase it and start again Clare bitterly tore the page out and chucked it at an innocent passerby, who glared before stalking away.

By the third round of this she'd snapped her pencil and recieved a papercut so when she reached into her bag for a new journal and a pointy quill to write with Eli decided it was probably time he stopped her, no matter how funny she was to watch.

He stopped the hand that was going for the weapons she called a pen and paper. "Clare, I think you've wasted enough trees as it is." She looked him in the eyes, glaring. And truthfully, Eli didn't mind. If it meant he could freely look into her eyes, he'd sit like that all day. Sadly, all good things come to an end. Clare huffed out a "fine" before pulling her arm away from him and crossing them around her chest.

The horrible thing was, Eli wasn't allowed to laugh. Then she'd just get mad at him and it would take even longer to figure out why she was mad. In her irritation Clare began to drum her fingers across the desk in the beat of some song she didn't quite remember. Writing had always helped her sort her feelings out but now that it had deserted her she felt like a ball of nerves. Times that by three months and it made for a super irritated Clare. The whole class she just couldn't pay attention. The only thing she caught was "project due tomorrow" right before the bell rang.

"Crap." She didn't have the faintest notion as to what the project was on, let alone how to do it. She sighed, might as well just get over it. Clare reached down to get her backpack but there was nothing leaning against the wobbly leg of her desk. For a moment she panicked. Her laptop was in there, all of her homework... but then she spotted Eli. He was leaning against the door frame, suave as ever, with that cocky smirk on his face. She should've been mad, but in that moment, she was only relieved. Better him than Reese, who sat a few rows behind them.

"Thanks." He handed Clare her bag easily as he fell into step beside her. Not wasting any time, he cut straight to the issue of the matter. No four play or beating around the bush. Of course not. If he wasn't straightforward then he wouldn't be Eli.

"Why are you in such a shitty mood?" Clare didn't even need to think about it.

"Writer's block." His heat tilted to the left. It reminded her of the way a little kid's would if they didn't understand something.

"You write?" Clare smiled and answered as she opened her locker.

"Yeah, I use writing stories and what-not to...vent. It helps me sort through my thoughts." She got a faraway look in her eyes, then her face went sour again. "But for the past couple of months I haven't been able to write anything and I just feel all pent up!" Biology book safely in hand they began their trek towards their next class. Eli's eyes flashed and just like that he went from cute and confused to smirky and scheming.

"Well how's this? I'll help you with you're issue if we can do our project at your house tonight."

They were at the entrance of the classroom now and the warning bell had just gone off. Clare's parents had been loose cannons lately and she didn't want to make it worse by getting detention, but she also knew Eli and that she wasn't going to be able to go anywhere until she answered.

"Yeah, sure. Meet me after school, okay?" The smirk was back full force now, but all this thinking was giving her a headache. Clare just walked straight past Jenna and K.C, who were making disgusting faces at each other, and sat down in her assigned chair towards the back. Perfect for sleeping.

* * *

There he was, leaning against his shiny black Hearse, otherwise known as Morty, two minutes after the final bell tolled. Clare walked up to him quickly, eager to go anywhere with Eli.

"You know you're not supposed to get into a car with a stranger right? What if I'm a bad guy?" Why did she always always end up having the bad guy/good guy conversations with the guys she likes?

"Well what if I said that you don't scare me so I don't care either way?" Without missing a beat, Eli pushed off of his car and pulled both of Clare's arms to him.

"Well what if you _should_ be scared? Everyone else probably is." He whispered into her ear. All Clare could focus on was how his warm breath fanned over her skin and that she really liked it.

"Well then, shit! I'm just not like other people, huh?" He pulled back enough to look her in the eyes. They were the same beautiful blue, she was the same Clare and he was still Eli yet she wasn't scared of him. He smiled. A real, sincere smile. It used to be once in a blue moon event but he had a feeling that with Clare around it would be happening more often.

Clare smiled back. It was contagious! Really, how often does someone dressed in all black smile? Smirk, yes. Smile, not so much. Eli pulled back again letting her arms drop to her sides. They felt so cold now...

"Let's get this show on the road." As fluid as ever, Eli opened Clare's door and walked around to his, sliding in before she'd even acknowledged the open door. After a moment of them just looking at each other Eli finally asked. "You coming?" That snapped her out of her stupor. She slid into the passenger seat quickly, taking a look around.

"Definitely." After a few minutes of driving, Eli popped in a CD by the Gorillaz in. Whoever they were... "I've always wanted to see the inside of a Hearse. You know, the first time I saw your car I thought someone had died." She smiled at the memory. Her glasses' death was a necessary sacrifice if it got him out of the car. "It was the first time I talked to you."

Good ol' Morty. Eli seemed pretty content, until he processed that information. "I really am sorry about your glasses, though I do prefer you without them, but that wasn't the first time you saw me? I skipped the first day." When could she have seen him? He didn't go to class and he'd definitely been out of sight.

"Well, I always get to school early and usually I'd sit down and read or something, but when I got to the table I always sit at I found a darkly clothed teenager sleeping on the bench. I poked you a few times, but you wouldn't wake up so I just went somewhere else to read." On the outside Eli was calm, but on the inside embarrassment raged. She saw him sleeping...and poked him! Damn. So much for playing it cool. He stopped at Clare's house and began to get out.

"Um... Eli ...how did you know where I live?" Good question, but easily answered.

"It was on the notebook you ripped to shreds this morning." She mouthed an "O" before getting out and leading him to the door. Clare turned toward Eli, an apologetic look on her face.

"My parents have been fighting a lot lately so I'm sorry if they are loud or anything. We can work somewhere else if you want." She was looking down sadly and her being sad made Eli sad, no matter how wierd it sounded. He put one finger under her chin, bringing her head up.

"This is perfect. Let's just work on the project up in your room or something." She smiled and grabbed his hand before opening the door.

"It's not my fault I work late hours! But it's also not my fault that you're sneaking whores into my house when I'm not-"Clare shut the door to her room as soon as they were inside, somewhat muffling the shouts from the dining room.

"Damn, you weren't kidding about the fighting. They didn't even notice us come in." She just walked over to the bed and laid down.

"So what's the project on, anyway?" She needed a distraction.

"Reinact the scene we read today from A Midsummer Night's Dream in a more modern day way." She gawked.

"That's it! Wow, easy much?" He obviously didn't buy it.

"I know you weren't paying attention today in class." It was her turn to smirk.

"I finished the book ages ago so _I_ don't _need_ to pay attention." The voices had stopped, meaning her mom had gone to work and her dad had  
left to drink himself to death or hook up with some chick.

"I think it's safe to go downstairs if you want to." Eli sat in a chair across the room.

"Naw, I like it better in here. So do you want to work on the reinactment or your lack of writing prowess?" The corner of his lips twitched upward.

"Hey!" Clare threw a pillow at him, and though it was promptly caught, it left a smile on his face.

"Well which would you prefer then?" She stopped to contemplate before finally answering.

"Definitely the reinactment. Come on." She twined her fingers with his and led him down to the loft; her favorite place in the whole house.

They sat on the floor, each facing the other, and started reading lines.

Eli started. _"Ay me! for aught that I could ever read, could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth; but either it was different in blood—" _For some reason the air in the room had changed, become more... heated?

Clare ignored it, reading her line. _"O cross! too high to be enthrall'd to low."  
_  
_"Or else misgraffèd in respect of years—"_ How did he make it sound so good?

_"O spite! too old to be engag'd to young."_ They unconciously moved closer the longer they read, leaning more and more towards the other.

_"Or else it stood upon the choice of friends—"_ Man his eyes were green...

_"O hell! to choose love by another's eyes."_ So close. She could just reach over and-

"Um...now we just have to make it more modern day." She was such a coward.

"Guess so." Eli commented, pulling back.

* * *

The two of them both sat in the kitchen, eating assorted snacks that were anything but good for them.

"So what do you usually write about?" Eli asked.

Clare didn't want to say, 'My ex-boyfriend, who cruelly dumped me for my ex-friend' so she stuck with, "Anything that's on my mind. Things that I need to let out but can't tell to other people." There was a pregnant silence as Eli thought that over. She was the most deep highschooler he'd ever met. And she was still a sophomore! Then he remembered that he was supposed to be giving her insight on her problem.

"Maybe you just need a new topic. When something dies it's dead. There is no bringing it back to life, so just accept it and move on to something else." Said like the true relative of someone who runs a mortuary.

He glanced at the clock. It read 9:42. He was supposed to be home by ten. "Well, Clare, I'll leave you with that thought cause my dad will kill me if I'm not home by ten." He felt bad about lying, no matter how necessary it was.

Clare's face fell. If he left then she'd be left alone with her father and that scared her...a lot. She hadn't been wearing long sleeves lately for nothing. But he had to go so she sucked it up like the big girl she was. "Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Guess you will." Deja vu anyone? Then he walked up to her, took her hand, and kissed it. "Later." Then he was gone.

Eli's heart was pumping. He kissed her! Oh shit, hopefully she didn't get mad. He sighed. Tomorrow wouldn't come soon enough...

Clare was still in her chair, frozen. Eli. Kissed. Her. It was only on the hand though and she felt like a fire was raging inside of her. Imagine if he'd kissed her on the lips!

She raced up the stairs to start typing. Clare pulled out her laptop and set it on the desk, sitting in the chair that Eli had occupied mere hours ago. Clare waited impatiently for it to turn on. The second it loaded her fingers were on the keys.

_"What reason did I have to like him? He was arrogant and sarcastic and he dressed from head to toe in black. But he was also charming, believe it or not, and his smile, though exceedingly rare, made me melt on the inside. Eli Goldsworthy is a different type of guy and I just may be falling for him. Forget K.C Goldsworthy and his backstabbing girlfriend. As they always say, out with the old and in with the new."_

Clare smiled. Maybe the reason she hadn't been able to write anything was because there wasn't anything to write about. What happened with K.C in the past was over. Done. They were through and she was ready to accept that.

She shut her laptop before shutting off her lights and lying down on her bed. It was a new year and she was ready to live it up.

**A/N- Yay, my first Degrassi story. If you think i should continue it tell me but it's meant to be a oneshot. I really shouldn't be posting this but i feel like I should contribute after reading so many... Review?**


	2. Crime and Punishment

**Writer's Block Ch. 2  
**  
**A/N- By popular demand I wrote a second chapter. Hope you like it. I've already written the third chapter. I just need to edit it, which takes forever:)**

Clare sat, knees to her chest, in the farthest corner of her room. She had heard a car pull up to the house; it wasn't loud but she'd always been a light sleeper. Clare glanced at her clock; it read two thirty-six. Her mom wouldn't be home from work until at least ten in the morning so it had to be her dad.

Clare knew what was going to happen, but she was too scared to move. Her room was the first place her father would look for her. It was basically routine by now.

Creak. Creak. Creak.

She pushed herself further into the shadows, hoping futilly that he wouldn't see her there. The door creaked loudly, practically echoing throughout the house. The smell of beer wafted into the room as he entered. Clare held her breath as he stumbed around, looking for his personal punching bag. "Don't look over here. Don't look over here." repeated in her head a million times a minute. Maybe God would answer if she asked enough times.

He scanned the room slowly and just as he was turning to leave she let out her breath, causing him to look directly at her. "There you are! This-" he pointed to the glass remains of his and her mom's wedding photo, "is all your fault! If you hadn't told her she never would've known about Beth! You can go to hell!" Then he hit her. Over, and over, and over again.

* * *

Clare never fell back asleep.

Whether it be the nightmares that would infallibly haunt her or the pain she felt in every fiber of her being, she didn't know but Clare was up when the sun began to rise. In the past when something went wrong Clare would keep it to herself, never much of a tattle-tale, but now she had the next best thing: writing. So she did what she knew best. A paper and pen were never far and soon she was writing, as illegible as her scrawl was.

_"I had hoped, so much, that my dad would give me that one day-just one day- of happiness._

_Where I could enjoy the fact that I like Eli and that I was over K.C like a normal teenage girl. Obsess over being  
kissed and go to sleep only to wake up without bruises in the morning. But he couldn't give me that, now could he?"  
_

Clare forced herself up off of the rough carpet. Frankly, she felt there wasn't anything left to say and she needed to get ready for school. It was a haven and a hell at the same time. Having to live in fear of someone questioning a bruise she'd forgotten to cover up or being too sore to move. What would she tell people?

She wouldn't. Not a word of this would get to anyone else. Clare refused to end up with social services living with people she didn't know. Everyone in her family was runners. Darcy, her mom and her dad, well she was going to be a fighter. At least that's what she told herself.

Clare picked up the broken picture frame from the night before and dumped it into the trashcan before going into the bathroom to get ready for the day. The only stable thing in her life. She ignored theblack and blue reflection in the mirror, heading straight for the shower. The dried blood was starting to irritate her skin and it just made her feel gross. After she applied more make up to her bruises than anyone should ever have on them, Clare pulled on a tanktop, a long jean jacket and a pair of skinny jeans. That should help to cover everything up.

She slowly crept down the stairs, making sure not to step on any creaky floor boards, and walked straight past her dad, who had passed out on the couch, to the kitchen. Just the thought of food made her feel sick so Clare just picked up her bag and walked out the door. The more time spend away from home the better.

* * *

The whole day was a blur for Clare. She felt like crap and probably looked it too. Alli just chattered away, oblivious to the woes of her best friend. Something about a guy named Drew and how she was tutoring a football player. All of the wierd smells that practically screamed cafateria food were starting to get to her when -thank God- Eli came and saved her from throwing up all over Alli's pretty heels.

When they were safely within the halls and out of the eating zone Clare took a deep breath; testing the water. It seemed safe enough so she continued the process.

"I figured you could use some saving from that friend of yours. Quite the talker isn't she?" Eli started, making conversation. When Clare didn't respond, Eli stopped walking, a vaguly concerned expression on his face. "Clare, are you okay? You seem sorta out of it." She finally registered that he was talking and turned towards him, albeit very slowly.

"Oh, I'm fine. I am just feeling a bit, um, under the weather is all." Eli could tell she was lying but decided to drop it... for the time being.

"Well okay. We have the stupid plays next period. Still remember your part?" She gave him a 'No duh' look before they started walking again. There was something off about her that wasn't there yesterday. Eli just knew. Nothing as simple as a cold. It was very subtle; the way Clare limped a bit when going from her left to right leg or how her eyes seemed just a bit duller than usual. Just, something was off and it was driving him nuts not knowing what it was. But it was like, against the guy code to ask her so he settled for observing. He'd find out eventually.

They walked into the Drama room just as the lunch bell rang. They were performing skits that period so they were using the stage. Clare was still silent and seemed tired. If the constant yawning didn't give her away the dark circles surrounding her eyes would everyone was situated, their teacher, who Eli personally considered an uptight workaholic, began picking pairs to perform their skits. Around thirty minutes or so in Ms. Kwan finally turned on them. Eli nudged Clare awake before dragging her up onto the stage.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" She certainly didn't seem it.

"Any day now..." Ms. Kwan droned from the audience. Clare gave Eli a small smile before he started.

"Why is it that in every rumor, tabloid, and once upon a time the love story always morphs into a hate one? Whether it be families that are sticking their noses where they don't belong-"

Clare looked at the audience, "Or standards that are set higher than any person's should be." They circled each other slowly.

"Time that mocks our feelings, a futile attempt to seperate the young and old."

Clare laughed bitterly. "A cougar? Or a woman in love with a man?"

"Are we going to allow our friends to decide our lives for us? Let ourselves be led by their words of persuasion?"

"If they cannot accept us they can just go to hell! I love who I love and nothing they say will sway me!"

The room, previously silent, erupted into applause and Ms. Kwan commended them before moving on to the next couple. Clare on the other hand felt really dizzy. When she was younger, when Darcy was in the hospital, she remembered Peter telling her that putting your head between your knees helped a bit, so that's what she did. Eli sat down next to her, quietly observing. When she looked a little better he finally spoke up. "Clare, you should go to the nurse." She panicked.

"No!" He actually looked a bit surprised. She'd never even risen her voice at him before. She instantly backtracked. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to go home, kay? I'd really rather stick it out here. There are only two more classes left. I should be fine." Eli just nodded and walked away. Girls were so wierd! After fretting all night about how she'd take him kissing her she's so out of it that the topic never even came up! He tried being annoyed but then he'd glance back at Clare, curled up into a ball near the exit of the room, and he couldn't find it in him. Why'd he have to like someone so...innocent!

The class finally ended. Eli slowly got up, cool as ever, and began to walk towards the door. Clare, thankfully, was already gone. Hopefully she'd feel better once she got home.

* * *

Fifty-five more minutes. That's how many Clare had left until school was officially over. Fifty minutes too long if you asked her. Everything on her was sore so even the easiest of stretches made her want to cry out.

Today their class was playing basketball, a small blessing. She wasn't horrible at it so she was always picked first out of the girls and that meant being on the better captains were K.C and Dave so Clare was actually pretty surprised when K.C picked her instead of Jenna to be on his team. Being the annoying boyfriend stealer that she was, Jenna was probably furious. After she spread a rumor about Clare getting a boob job K.C had been especially nice to Clare, as if to apologize for his girlfriend's behavior. It was nice for Clare but it was turning Jenna into a very jealous, clingy, conniving -shall we go on?- person.

Halfway through the game, Clare's team was winning by twelve and she was watching from the bench. The sun was blazing hot and sweat was rolling off of her in waves. She felt extremely tired and was trying really hard not to fall asleep. Then, her head lulled and everything faded to black.

K.C. had the ball, about to go for the three pointer, when he heard a heavy thump from the sidelines. His head whipped in that direction, against his better judgement, and his eyes widened. Clare had slumped sideways on the bench. Her eyes were closed and her body was in an unnatural position. K.C. dropped the ball and ran over to her. "Oh, crap! Clare!" He put his hand to her forehead and checked her vitals. She was alive but her temperature had to be in the hundreds. "I'm taking her to the nurse!" He called to their before picking her up bridal style and walking towards the entrance to the gym. Right before he left, K.C. caught Jenna's eye. He expected her to be worried, Clare was her friend at some point too, but she looked just the opposite- angry. Disgusted, he turned away from her and quickened his pace.

He'd never exactly held someone like he was holding Clare at that moment but he was pretty sure that the average person should weigh more than she did. If K.C. could pick one word to describe his ex- girlfriend in that point and time it would be pretty. K.C. finally took in all of the changes she'd made since ninth grade. Her hair, previously long, had been cropped short, natural waves falling in different directions. The clear, gold-trimmed glasses were nowhere to be found since her lazer eye surgery and her clothes were as amazing as ever.

Why had he broken up with her again? Then the reason came to him. Jenna. That excuse was sounding more and more pathetic as the days went on.

K.C. kicked open the nurse's door before walking in and gently setting Clare down on an available cot."She passed out in P.E. so I carried her here. I think she's got a fever." He stumbled over his words, rushing to get them out. The grey haired old lady, who he'd come to know as Ms. Burnwood, walked up to Clare as K.C. sat down in a chair, feeling useless.

Clare started to regain conciousness, due to the talking. When she felt someone start to pull up her sleeves she snapped awake, snatching her arm away. "It's okay honey, I just want to check to see if anything's wrong." Clare looked around, taking in her surroundings. The nurse plus a worried K.C. meant that something must have happened to her and since  
she couldn't remember what it was, she must've passed out.

"I'm perfectly fine. I just haven't eaten much -of anything- today. That must've been what caused me to faint. I'll be good as new once some sugar gets back into my system." The nurse seemed to accept that and sent her off with a cookie and some reprimanded herself as she walked back to class with K.C. She needed to be more careful if she was going to keep her issues to herself. "Um, thanks for taking me to the nurse, K.C." She took a bite of her chocolate-chip cookie, "I'll also be sure to eat so... yeah." He nodded in acknowledgement. She sighed. Now people would be watching her much more closely than before.

As soon as the two sophomores got back to class the bell rang for the end of the school day. Clare picked up her stuff and left without another word.

Outside of Degrassi's doors everything seemed so much more freeing. There were no parents or perceptive almost boyfriends. It was just her and the swing. It was drizzling and quite cold so not one person wandered into the park that evening. She would know. Clare was trying really hard not to be a runner but when just the thought of going home brought tears to her eyes she decided that one night away would do everyone good.

* * *

She wasn't here. Eli had four classes with Clare and she hadn't shown up to one of them. He was hoping that, though very unlikely, she had just ditched a period or two and would show up later in the day, but  
nobody comes to school just to leave a few hours Clare was just sick. She hadn't been feeling well the day before... When he just couldn't take not knowing anymore, Eli walked over to where Clare usually sat with her friend -Alli?- , the picture of indifference, and sat down.

"I'm Alli and you're Clare's new beau! Eli right?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Um, yeah. Do you know where Clare is?" She was her best friend. If she didn't know then who did? Alli's expression went from happy to somber.

"Just so you know she passed out in P.E. yesterday. K.C took her to the nurse and I haven't seen her since then so I'm assuming she stayed home to rest. I was planning on visiting later. Do you want to comewith?" Eli was still stuck on 'passed out in PE'. How was he just finding out about this! The girl he well, liked fainted and he didn't know about it? He felt like punching something. Really, really hard. Eli nodded his thanks to Alli before getting up and walking out of the cafateria. He jogged over to his car, opened it and was on the road before anyone could even bother with stopping him. Clare had said she didn't want to go home. Now she wasn't at school either. Eli couldn't sit still not knowing where she was so he was making it his mission to find her.

* * *

Was Clare okay? Yesterday she muttered thanks to K.C. before hobbling off. Then she doesn't show up the next day; K.C. knew it was probably nothing but he couldn't shake the nagging suspicion that he should have walked her home. He'd just stop by on his way to Conner's and make sure she was alright; just because she was his ex didn't mean he stopped caring. Even if Jenna thought differently.

Clare walked down the street slowly. Today she felt even more sore than the previous day. Did that mean she was healing? All she knew was that she was finally hungry and had twenty dollars in her pocket just begging to be shop looked the same; she just kept walking down the street. At some point she thought she spotted a midnight black Hearse speeding the way she'd come, but it must've been her imagination.

At the corner of the street Clare spotted a sign that read, "The Dot" and smiled. Her second home. She pushed the door open, bells chiming to alert everyone to her presence, and went to sit down at a table.

A minute or two later Spinner Mason's face appeared from the back room and he walked over to Clare's table. "What are you doing here Baby Edwards? I'm sure school isn't out for another hour or so." He noted. Everyone who knew her older sister Darcy always called her Baby Edwards; at first it was annoying but eventually she just learned to accept it.

"I took the day off." He seemed to understand. Clare knew she looked like crap and she'd caught a cold from sleeping outside in the rain. But right now, all she wanted in the world was food. "Can I just have the usual Spin?" He nodded, walking away.

She was back at the swings. Again. The sun was just beginning to set now."Aww, time to go home." She thought regretfully. Clare jumped off, landing on the balls of her feet before walking back towards her house. You can't run from your problems forever...

Step. Step. Step brought her closer to her house. To her abusive father and to...K.C? He sat on the stairs that led up to her front door, his teeth worrying his bottom lip. When he noticed Clare, a sense of relief washed over him. Clare on the other hand was confused. What was he doing at her house? K.C took a step toward her, serious once again.

"We need to talk."

**A/N- Is anyone else excited for the Eli/Clare episode tonight? I am! I can't wait. I'm trying to stick sorta close to the spoilers I have from the previews in the episodes but i'm changing it up too. This story wont exceed five chapters though. Thanx for the lovely reviews:):):)**


	3. Rabbit's Out the Hat

**Writer's Block Ch. 3**

"We need to talk."

Someone up there hated her. First her dad now her _ex-boyfriend_! What in the world did they have to talk about? But Clare knew K.C. and he wasn't going anywhere until she heard what he had to say. She sighed in defeat.

"Fine, come in." She unlocked the door and moved to sit down on the couch. K.C. followed hesitantly; even while they'd been dating he had never been inside her house. Her household was beginning to resemble his old one more and more as the days passed. Bottles of beer littering the floor, staining it. No longer spotlessly clean like the magazine pictures her mother used to show her. When the two sophomores were situated Clare turned towards him warily, nothing good could come from this conversation.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" He played with the hem of his sleeve, something Clare remember him doing when they still hung out. "Just spit it out K.C." He looked up at her and cleared this throat, but when he finally spoke it was just above a whisper.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. After you passed out I was really worried, you know?" He paused, taking in a slow breath, "Just because we aren't dating doesn't mean I don't care. If there's ever anything you want to talk about, I'm all ears." Clare sat on the couch, seemingly frozen. Basically, he wanted to be friends again. A few months ago she would have jumped at the opportunity to steal him back from Jenna, but now? She knew it wasn't worth it. Clare saw the way he talked to other girls and how he looked at that new girl Bianca. If he cheated once he'd do it again, only this time Jenna would take the hit; see how she felt. Karma's a bitch.

"K.C. I don't talk to you because you dumped me for one of my backstabbing friends. I don't want to even look at you because then I get to see how much of a player you've turned into and then I wonder where my K.C. went. I have no intention of going through anything else with you because it always hurts in the end. I'm fine right now, thank you for everything you've done, but truthfully, I think you've done enough." He sat still, taking in the information. She'd omitted a lot of it but hopefully he'd still get the point. An awkward silence ensued, nothing left to say. Just when KC decided to open his mouth, the doorbell hopped up. Yes! Saved by the bell! "I'll get it!" She walked over to the door only to hear low bickering coming from the other side.

"I told you she wouldn't be here!"

"Well, where else would she be! You've checked everywhere else!" Just then Clare decided to open the door. On the other side she found Eli and Alli. Eli, who had been leaning against the wall with a frustrated look on his face, turned and spotted Clare. First there was relief then came the embarassment.

"We thought you'd been killed on your way home and buried in someone's backyard." Um...okay? Then Alli jumped at Clare, squeezing her as hard as her skinny arms could.

"Why would you think that?" He drives a Hearse. If that doesn't tell you something about how _peppy_ his thoughts are then you're an idiot. Just when Clare was about to voice those thoughts Alli got the'I'm gonna cry' face on and she gave in. "The more the merrier right? Come on in." They followed Clare back to the front room, and right on cue Alli growled, "What are you doing here!" Alli couldn't believe he was actually inconsiderate enough to talk to Clare at all right now. All she knew though was that this was her best friend and there was no way she was allowing this man-whore(hehe) to ruin Clare's life again. Even Eli was better for her, and he sorta creeped her out. Very...dark.

"It's okay Alli, he just wanted to check up on me. I guess passing out really does make people care!" At that even Alli had to laugh. KC may not be laughing, but he shouldn't be.

"Wait, I feel really out of the loop. Who are you?" Eli asked K.C. from his place across the room; he was leaning against the wall again but Clare wasn't complaining. It was his thing and he looked good doing it.

"I could say the same to you." KC shot back. Why did all the guys Clare liked have to be so hot-headed!

"Elijah Goldsworthy. Call me Eli." He raised an eyebrow waiting for K.C to speak.

"Pa-lease, I've got this." Alli said. "K.C Guthrie: ex-boyfriend of Clare Edwards. Broke up with Clare for annoying bimbo named Jenna Middleton. Know her?" Did he know her? Who didn't! She was practically _**the**_ most annoying person in the whole school and she was a cheerleader! He shuddered.

"You broke up with Clare for her? Horrible judgement dude." K.C.'s glare intensified, but once again they were spared his annoying ramble. A jingle from outside alerted everyone that someone was home. Clare's eyes were stricken with fear, she could hardly keep herself from running back to the park. The keys turned and the door creaked a bit as it was opened.

"I think...you guys should go." Clare whispered to the ground. Nobody spoke or made and movement to leave; unconciously acknowledging the air in the room change from playful to heavy. "Clare?"

Lethargic footsteps slowly came towards the room they were all in. Clare was scared. Really, truly scared. This wasn't supposed to happen; not in front of the people she least wanted to know! She tried to be positive though. He'd just come back from work. Maybe he wasn't drunk for once. Maybe he wouldn't hit her. Yeah, and maybe pigs could fly. Optomism so wasn't her thing. He was at the door, staring. His eyes travelled from face to face silently, wearily. From Eli's to K.C.'s to Alli's before finally landing on Clare. He took a sluggish step forward, closer to Clare, who was standing in the center of the room.  
Her eyes were frightened. Why was she scared? He wondered idlely if something was wrong before glancing at the place where his wedding photo used to be. The marriage that she had ruined. Something was wrong. Her. He never wanted to see her horrid face again. He walked closer to his daughter, now slightly shaking, and stood there. His 6'2 towered over her average height at such close proximity. Alcohol made his brain slightly fuzzy, like he was floating. When thoughts popped up they didn't stay long and right now, in this second, all he wanted was for her to disappear.

He was so close. 'God, if you love me at all please, _please_ don't let him hit me in front of them' she prayed pitifilly. And it didn't come. The pain and enbarrassment she was expecting. Clare peeked open one eye. His face was angry, and furious, and tired all at the same time. She chanced talking, hoping that it would calm him down.

"D-dad?" His eyes snapped into focus, flashing dangerously.

"Don't talk to me!"

He. _Hit_. Her. Eli and K.C stepped forward at the same time, ready to take him out, even if he was her father. Alli was shocked, her hand covering her mouth. Clare just stood there, eyes squeezed shut, hoping that all of this was just some sort of sick dream. She opened them again and found everyone staring at her; Eli and K.C. looked about ready to murder someone and Alli, just like Clare, was on the brink of tears. Her dad still looked the same, not apologetic in the least.

"I think you guys should-" Clare's voice cracked and she drew in a ragged breath, "go." She looked them each in the eye trying to convey just how much they needed to go. Alli seemed to get the message, since she nodded and got up. When the guys didn't follow her lead she grabbed each of their wrists and dragged them to the door. Eli threw Clare one last look before the door shut behind them.

It was silent until the three of them were a few blocks away. "What the _hell_ Alli! Did you see that! He hit her!" K.C yelled, punching the wall. Eli was silent, his glare intensifying the longer K.C talked. If looks could kill...

"I know KC, how could I miss it, but do you think we were supposed to see that! Clare wanted us to leave before you two," she pointed to each of them, "beat the crap out of her dad. No matter how justified it was." K.C 'hmph'ed before slumping to the ground.

"Well, what do we do now?" K.C muttered defeatedly.

Alli sighed. "We wait until tomorrow and talk to Clare then."

* * *

"Clare! You can't ignore me forever!" She just kept on walking. She may not have forever, but a few days were worth a shot. Eli spotted a door up ahead and grabbed Clare's wrist, pulling her in along with him. It turned out to be a janitor's closet. Small, cramped, and smelling of some rotten substance but it served it's purpose. She couldn't run from him here.

"Clare, do you realize how worried-" He couldn't even finish his sentence. "A whole week! Not knowing if you'd be back the next day and then you refuse to talk to us! To me!" Eli paused, reining in his anger. "I- I really like you Clare. Your the first girl who I've ever met with depth, and brains, and-" Great. Elijah Goldsworthy had officially been reduced to a bumbling idiot, "pretty eyes! I just- I can't stand by while you're being hurt! Please let me help you." He was practically begging by the end, holding Clare's arms above her head so that she didn't try to run again. Clare looked down sadly. She wanted it all to stop so badly, but to get help meant that there really was an issue and she wasn't sure that she was strong enough to admit that.  
"What am I? A charity case! Just leave me alone!" She struggled but Eli's hands remained firm. He looked so...defeated. An odd look for a person that was usually so nonchalant about everything.

"Please." One tear went down her face followed by another. She didn't want Eli to be sad. That's why she kept it a secret. She knew that it was hurting her friends to know that everyday she was going home to... her father but what could she do about it? This place, Degrassi was all she knew. If Clare told her mother about it they were bound to move and then she'd never see any of them ever again. She just wanted everyone to be happy.

"O-okay. I'll tell my mom okay? Maybe that'll help." He looked relieved. Something was better than nothing. "Thank you, Eli. I can't go through this alone. I just-thank you." He smiled and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. She twined their fingers and brought them to between their faces.  
"Anytime."

* * *

Clare stood in her mother's room, watching her get ready for work. She moved quickly, hardly paying attention to the teenager standing silently at her door. When the woman finally acknowledged her daughter, she stopped, an annoyed look on her face."Do you need something, Clare?" It wasn't too late to turn back. To say "No" and walk away would've been so much easier but she'd promised Eli that she'd try so she would. If not for herself then for him.

"I just wanted to show you something." Clare had thought long and hard about how to tell her mom about the abuse and finally came to the conclusion that showing her the...visual... would probably work the best.

Ever since her older sister Darcy was raped, Clare had tried to be the good kid. the smart one that got perfect grades, always listened and stayed out of trouble. Since then she had learned that being a teenager meant the exact opposite of all of those things no matter how hard you tried. But she still tried hard to be the best she could for her parents; they'd gone through enough drama with Darcy. But this, try as she may, was out of her control. something that she couldn't fix by herself, by not saying anything.

She took tentative steps towards her mother, stopping about half a foot away. When Clare was positive that her mom was paying attention she lifted up the hem of her shirt, just enough for her to get the gist of the message Clare was trying to convey. Her mother slowly reached out, faintly tracing the line of each of the bruises, the older ones just beginning to yellow, tears brewing in her eyes.

"What is all this?" Clare swallowed back the heavy lump in her throat. She'd done enough crying. It was unnecessary and didn't help. It was better to focus her efforts on something more productive.

"Dad, he blames me for ruining your marriage and he gets," Clare paused, looking down at the cold wooden flooring, "angry." Her mom was a doctor. That bein said, she was anything but dumb and easily caught the implications behind that statement. Her face went from sad to furious in record time. Then she took out her cell phone and muttered something about not coming in for work before snapping her phone back closed.

"I am so sorry Clare. This will never happen again. I can deal with him if it's just me but he's hitting you! That's the last straw." Clare watched as her mother marched down the stairs. She saw her dad sitting on the couch lazily; jumping up when he spotted his wife.

"Caroline!" He stepped toward her, reaching out. She pulled her hand away from him, as if he had some horrible disease.

"Don't touch me, Ethan! Don't ever touch me or my daughter ever again! Have a nice life!" Then her ex-father watched as the two most important people in his life walked out the door.

**A/N- Drama! Ok after this Eli gets his turn with the drama and K.C. is... jealous? Fast update, no? **

**I need help. Who should Eli be living with (living arrangements)? I already know what his issue is but I need guardians...**

**-Aunt/Uncle**

**-Grandparents**

**-Adoptive home**


	4. Seeing Ghosts

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**Writer's Block Ch.4**

**A/N- Thank you so much for all of the reviews. Each is really special to me and I appreciate the kind words. Every chapter I ask if I should keep it going and not once has anyone said no.**

-Also,I put a request in for the new people on the characters list and now we have Eli and Adam! YAY!:) Btw, Eli is really hard to write in character so this took FOREVER :(

Eli walked into his room and sat down at the computer.

He had tons of homework to catch up on due to his constant slacking, but he just couldn't seem to focus long enough to actually start on it.

He was too anxious. What was happening with Clare? Had it gone well? Did her dad _hit_ her again! Too many thoughts swarmed around within his head, not many of them ending well. Eli's hand twitched towards the silver cell phone in his pocket but he resisted. She would tell him at school. He had to be patient.

For another thirty minutes or so Eli attempted to distract himself with pointless Trigonometric functions but his mind always wandered back to something Clare related. Eli shut the large blue book, giving up. He already had detention for ditching lastweek, what more could they give him for blowing off some homework?

Instead Eli logged onto his computer; checking emails was a much more interesting passtime.

The first few were just junk mail. He went through the hundred or so he had backed up, clicking the delete button before moving onto the next message. Most were just advertisements from random websites he'd signed up for in the past. When Eli had finally weeded through all of the mail a new one popped up on the screen. It was red and had URGENT flashing off and on as the topic. Curious, he clicked on it, instantly regretting the decision.

Dear Elijah,

How are you? I hope you're happy with your grandparents. I know it  
must be better there than here. I just wanted to remind you of our  
agreement.

Remember, if you don't keep up your grades and stay out of trouble you  
have to come back to live with your father and I. And you know how  
well that worked out last time.  
I have a buisness meeting in the the area next week so I think your  
father and I may drop by and see how everyone is doing.  
P.S- Please try to wear a color other than black while we're around.

Sincerely,  
Patricia Goldsworthy

He deleted the message. Maybe if he didn't respond back they would take the hint and leave him alone. Eli internally scoffed. Like not talking ever got them to back off! If anything it made them more forceful on a way he did not need either of his parents to stop by and ruin his life. Yes. They worked quickly. It was as if screwing with his life was some sort of sick passtime for decided to just not think about it. Instead he shuffled down the large twin staircase to the kitchen. Like everything else about his house, it was huge.

His grandparents, Mortimer and Sue, inherited hundreds of acres of land when his grandpa's father died. They decided to turn it into a funeral home and a cemetary. It was their type of place; quiet, peaceful, and unusual. The rest of the family hated it there but Eli loved it. Mortimer and Sue didn't want to live far from work so they built a mansion a mile or so away. When Eli was young he used to get lost, but he'd been living with them for almost two years now, so he knew his way a welcoming present the old couple bought Eli an shiny new Hearse. His Grandpa was very persistant but it still took over two months for his mom to give in and let him drive it around. Eli was so excited(which was a rarity in itself) that he named it in his grandpa's honor, hense the name Morty.

Eli took out a bottle of water and shut the fridge. He stuck the Asprin in his mouth and chugged the water, sighing as he set it back had been a long day. All the Clare family drama, then telling her how he felt and finally his mother. A normal person would feel tired but Eli just felt... wound up. Going to sleep wasn't even an option. It was as if he'd drunk three cups of coffee on an empty stomach and then had some cake. He needed to settle down, unwind; and from experience Eli knew that the best way to do so was to go for a walk. Clear your mind.

His grandparents wouldn't care. They were just his guardians. Eli did all the work; signing papers, buying food, even helping out at the funeral home. They just provided money and a place to live, which was fine by Eli since prying eyes had never been his thing. He was nothing if not independent.

Eli walked towards the front door, grabbing a jacket on the way air outside was bitingly cold. Not exactly unexpected for a late December night. The moon was luminescent, almost eerily so, but it helped Eli to navigate the tombstones that littered the grounds.

He wandered aimlessly, no specific destination in mind. Eli just felt the need to go. He had to get out and do something or he'd never get to sleep. Finally Eli stopped and sat down.

There were tens of hundreds of acres and though he knew every inch of them by heart, there was no way to walk the whole premisis by foot in one night. He layed back, totally at ease. This was his type of place. It was just...peaceful. He could just lie back and admire the moon without prying eyes judging his looks or distractions. His gaze drifted over to the headstone closest to him. the name inscribed was hardly legible in the now dull moonlight but he'd know it even if the night were dark as pitch.

Abigail Goldsworthy

His older sister. She'd committed suicide when she was sixteen. Exactly four years from that day. He was thirteen then but Eli still remembered the last thing she ever said to him.

_"Don't be weak like me. Don't be afraid to be your own person, Eli."  
_  
And then Abby was gone. His older sister, his support, his best friend was gone. And he was left alone. To deal with the cutting, and the bullies, his parents, and everything else life threw at him. On the anniversary of her death he always visited her grave, but even after four years still hadn't forgiven Abby for leaving him so completely alone.

Eli felt a vibration in his pocket. "So much for no distractions." He muttered, annoyed. His mood changed when he found out who'd texted him.

_I have really good news and I can't wait until tomorrow! Meet me in front of the Dot?~ClarE_. He smiled. Good news meant she was okay.

_Sure. C u in five?- _

_Kay:)~ClarE_

Eli shut his phone and stuck it back in his pocket. Time to go. He looked back at the grave sadly before walking away. "See you next year."

* * *

"So you left?" Eli conluded hopefully. Clare smiled.

"Yes. We're going back tomorrow to get the rest of our stuff, but after that I'm never going back."

She was so happy and Eli was the first person she wanted to tell about everything. It just seemed right. He'd been there for Clare every step of the way. Then Eli told her that he liked her...as more than an English partner or good friend and she was shocked. He was just so everything she wasn't. A junior, mysterious, sarcastic, dreamy, caring, daring. The list went on and on but somewhere along the way, in between all of the flirting and teasing, she started to like him. He was meddling and seemed to live for annoying her, but he was so..._him_. Clare _had_ always liked a bad boy.

Eli was looking at her, curious. She'd stopped talking and then got this faraway look on her face.

Then Clare looked back at him, eyes practically twinkling in the light, with the brightest smile he'd ever seen on a person. She liked Elijah Goldsworthy. That was all there was to it, and she wanted to tell him. _Had _to tell him. "Thank you!" Clare wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. Eli awkwardly patted her back, not sure what was appropriate for that sort of situation.

"I told you that I'm here for you and I am. Anytime. Remember?" Her eyes began to water a bit. He really was a good guy, and _he_ liked _her_.

"Eli, do you remember earlier when you said that you...liked me?" He quirked an eyebrow, his eyes narrowing a bit in suspicion.

"Yeah..."

She cleared her throat nervously. "Well I wanted to say that," Clare looked at Eli. Taking him in. From the greenness of his eyes to the black Sharpie on his fingernails. She allowed herself one last breath before spitting it out, "I like you too. Ever since I found you asleep on the bench, I think. I was really skeptic about dating again after what happened last year with K.C. but you just make me...happy. You helped me to do something I never could have done on my own and get me to be a little less _perfect_ all of the time. So...I just wanted to tell you." She trailed off towards the end. Not really sure what came next.

Eli didn't either. He wasn't the most experienced person when it came to dating. He wasn't sure how happy to be or what to do, but he just settled for doing what came naturally.

Eli brushed a stray hair from Clare's face and leaned in a bit. She was staring at her hands in her lap. He pulled one of her hands up and carefully twined his with hers. She brought her eyes to his and he smiled. It was crooked and smirky but sweet all the same. And in that moment, if only for a second, he thought that finally, things may be looking up.

* * *

Clare pulled Alli behind the tree, motioning for her to be quiet. Alli stared at Clare, giving her the "Are you crazy" look. When Eli was out of earshot Clare started talking.

"Okay, Alli I have good news and bad news." Alli put on her game face, ready to recieve the new gossip.

"Shoot."

"Well Eli and I are sort of dating now." She started. Alli squealed.

"Details, Clare! Where and when!" Alli gushed excitedly. Clare blushed, embarrassed before continuing.

"and my mom and I left my dad," more squeals, "but that leaves one small complication." Clare said nervously. Alli was still hooked on the first set of news. Clare had a boyfriend!

"I'm moving. I haven't even told Eli yet. How do I tell him I'm moving? Now I feel guilty for not telling him so I'm avoiding him. It's never a good thing to avoid your boyfriend right? Right." Alli listened attentively. This was one area she was experienced in.

"You've got to tell him soon. The longer you wait the worse the reaction will be. How _far_ are you moving exactly? Are you still going to Degrassi?" After her words of wisdom Alli jumped right into the sea of questions that she had for Clare.

"When are you leaving? Have you two _kissed_?" Clare didn't even bother with attempting to answer her questions. Once Alli settled down they'd talk again. For right now she had to focus on _not_ being a total spazz in English next to Eli.

* * *

K.C. walked down the hall, hand in hand with Jenna. She was going on about some Power Squad fundraiser. He didn't care at all about what it was but as long as he nodded and grunted appropriately she'd never know. His mind was three lockers down on Clare, who was currently laughing and walking awfully cozily from under the arm of Eli. The happy couple passed by them without a second glance.

Jenna picked that moment to notice K.C.'s obvious lack of response. "Hello! K.C.?" She had that annoyed tone in her voice like always and she waved a hand in front of his face. "Anyone home?" He grabbed her wrist; the movement was giving him a headache.

"What do you want Jenna?" She glanced in the direction K.C. was staring, spotting Clare and Eli immediately.

"You _were_ looking at her! You know what K.C? We're through! All you ever do is look at Clare, well newsflash! She has a boyfriend and it's _not_ you!" Then Jenna stomped away, practically breathing fire at everyone who crossed her path.

K.C. just leaned against his locker. Great. Now he had no girlfriend, no friends, and no Clare. He just felt like he had no control over anything anymore. He needed to do something other than lean against his locker, alone. Bianca, the worst possible person who could come along, noticed him there. They had met before. He had beer, she wanted a drink, and they both had massive headaches in the morning. He was a decent guy with a bad past and she knew exactly how to use that to her advantage. K.C. was practically putty in her hands.

"Hey! Wanna have some fun?"

* * *

Eli shut his locker. Off to the worst class of the day, Trigonometry. It sucked because he didn't have that class with Clare, even if she had been acting wierd all morning. Eli stuck the thousand pound book in his bag before slinging it over his shoulder. Just as he was turning to leave he heard a person clear their turned around. It was a guy, though he looked a little girly, and he wore baggy clothes and a hat. The kid looked innocent enough so he waited for him to speak.

"U-um do you know where the Media Immersions classroom is? I'm sorta new here and I can't uh find it..." Clare had that class so Eli sort of remembered where it was, so he nodded, excluding his signature derisiveness.

"If you keep going down this hall, make a left and you're there." He smiled.

"Thank you so much! Um..." Eli's mouth twitched upward.

"Eli, you?" He fidgeted.

"Adam. Um, bye then." Eli watched as the younger teen walked down the instructed hall until he couldn't see him anymore, then turned towards his own class. He was beyond tardy but better late than never right?

"Wait! Stop! Please!" Eli's head snapped around. That sounded a lot like the kid he just talked to. Either way something bad was happening. He ran down the hall, following the loud pleas.

"Adam!" He called, breathlessly.

"Eli? Eli!" He followed the sound and froze as he turned the corner. Three people, only one of whom he recognized, were holding Adam up in the air. They were approaching the glass windows that made up the front walls of Degrassi until they saw Eli.

There was a tallish Spanish girl that he'd seen in a few of his classes. He'd known she was bad news since forever ago though. The guy next to her was exactly the same. Every drug, drink, and plant they probably did together, but the last person was the most surprising. K.C. held up Adam's legs, looking guilty. There were a lot of things on his RAP sheet but bullying had never been one of them. Not anymore.

"Eli?" Adam questioned when he didn't move from his spot.

Eli was too wrapped up in his own head to notice Adam talking. The memories were flooding in. The bullies punching him, pushing him further and _further_ towards the edge until he _had_ to do something to stop it. _Anything_ to make them go away. He didn't want to see anyone else go through that. He snapped back to reality. Adam was calling for help. Calling for _Eli's_ help and all he did was stand there and watch. He watched, frozen as they threw him into the glass wall, shattering it instantly. He watched as Bianca, Fitz, and K.C. ran away and he watched as red tinged shards of glass rained down, falling at his feet.

Finally, much _much_ too late, Eli's heart restarted and he sped into action, checking Adam's pulse. It was somewhat weak, but he was alive, just unconcious. Adam's jacket had saved him from being too badly injured but some blood still seeped through it onto the floor. Eli's heart was beating a million times a second and his mind was going in too many directions at once. Eli rubbed his head and pulled out his phone, dialing 9-1-1.

****

**A/N- This took ages to write! There was so much going on and I didn't know exactly how I wanted everything to play out. Not writer's block but close enough. this was a more informational chapter about Eli and his past so I hope it wasn't boring...**

- Next chapter: The drama ensues! Eli's mom stops by, Clare IS moving, and Eli has some trauma from the past to deal with! Review!****


	5. Crying Blood

_**Disclaimer: I'm not even Canadian. How in the world would I be able to own the show if I can't even be on it?**_

_**OH! And Hi to **__**Dominique1234 for me or check out a story or two:)**_

Writer's Block Ch.5

"What if we get _caught_?" K.C. whispered anxiously. Bianca rolled her eyes.

"With _that_ type of attitude you _will_! Now just walk in as if nothing happened and they'll never suspect a thing!" Then they were gone and K.C. was left alone. There was no going back now. He walked into the class, head down. Ms. Oh was missing, a small blessing, and K.C thought for a second, _Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe Adam is fine and maybe I will actually get away with this._ Then he heard the sirens and he knew that everything would _not_ be okay. The police were involved now and if he'd learned _anything_ from his past it was that they always got to the bottom of things. He was officially screwed.

Clare glanced around, confused. What were the police doing at Degrassi? The closer the sirens came the more anxious she got, but even though she was worried Clare knew that K.C was positively freaking out. When they were dating he'd told her that he hated the police and that sirens made him anxious. Well at least he didn't do anything this time. _Right_? The speakers from overhead crackled before she could make out Mr. Simpson announcing that the school was on lockdown for the time-being and students were not permitted leave their classroom without a police escort. Then two men walked into the classroom, along with Ms. Oh. They were both clothed from head to toe in a dark navy, badges glinting, a silent threat, from their chests. The man on the right was darker and had a bushy mustache, which he would unconciously stroke every few seconds. The man to his left was a bit tanned, maybe Mexican, and he was really tall. The whole class was dead silent. They were all trying to listen to the whispers passed between the adults.

K.C was a mess. He was sweaty, twitchy, and just an all around wreck. He was going to get caught and then he'd get kicked out of the group home for violating probation _and then_ he'd get put in juvie and- "K.C!" He looked up. Clare's hand was on his shoulder. When did she get there? "I know you don't like the police but as long as you didn't do anything they can't touch you." Cause that made him feel _soooo _much better.

"Clare Edwards," She looked up. Did they just call her? This couldn't end well...

"Um...yeah?" She stood up nervously.

"Can you come with us?" She nodded silently before picking up her bag and being led out of the classroom. Leaving K.C to sit there wondering. _What the hell just happened?_

* * *

Eli sat in the principal's office. Waiting. When the police officer had asked if he'd like to call any family or close friends, lots of different thoughts went through his head.

His mom? Never. If she even _found out _about what had happened she'd drag him back home. Grandparents? He didn't want to get them involved unless it was necessary, so who else? Then Clare popped into his head. _She_ would know how to calm him down; she'd know what to say. Her name slipped from between his lips and like some sort of spell, the officers left. Now he was sitting. Basking in the thoughts he'd been trying impossibly hard to repress ever since he was younger.

It started back in grade school. Small things like name calling or teasing. Of course, Eli didn't really care what they said. Why he wasn't fond of bright colors was absolutely none of their business. In middle school it got a bit more personal. He became the social outcast. The person that you just had to shove as you walked one person in the whole school knew more about him than his first and last name, yet all of them hated him. So he grew a backbone. His greatest downfall. Eli had always been known for his witty sarcasm and sharp tongue but he'd paid the price for it.

_Apparently_ bullies didn't like being called a neanderthal, and they showed him the only way they knew how; through violence.

Finally, in grade nine, Eli decided he'd had enough. Why suffer through black eyes and broken limbs when you don't have to? So he got smart. Strategy became the name of the game. If he could scare the bully, they wouldn't want to well, bully him anymore. It seemed like a sound plan. The silver blade went into his backpack; his cards had been dealt. Now he just had to figure out how to use them.

Clare walked into the principal's office, stumbling a bit. The walk there had been anxious and silent; each man flanking her. All they had told her was that the witness wanted her with him so they had pulled her out of class. The only person that could have been was Adam, since he'd been missing in class, or Eli, but she had never expected the sight she found waiting for her. Eli sat on a red velvet couch, a heartbreakingly pained look on his face. His gray jacket was littered with red splotches along with the rest of his clothing. The most worrisome thing, however, was his eyes. His once vibrant, almost glowing, green orbs were shaded and dull. Clare's heart clenched. Her strong willed boyfriend who was always so _sarcastic_ and _charming _now sat in front of her, face tear streaked, eyes wide and defeated.

"_Eli..." _She whispered softly, reaching out to him. He finally acknowledged her presence, not even attempting to fix himself up. They just stered at each other. A silent communication that had always worked for them. If the eyes were the window to a person's soul then she was worried. _Extremely _worried.

"We need to ask you a few questions."

**A/N- I'm splitting this chapter into parts since for me school starts on Tuesday and I still have lots of stuff to do and songs to memorize. So it's either shorter, more consistant chapters or longer, less often ones. Does anyone know where this is going, cause I don't. I wrote out the next few chapters but I keep on rewriting cause I don't like it. Grrr. Should I have Clare move or maybe get Eli and Drew to beat up fitz? Idk. Input is very much appreciated:)  
**


	6. Visiting Hours

********

A/N- Sorry for not updating in a while:( I've been working on other things and then there's school... Anyway I finally posted and this took FOREVER to write. If you want a life DO NOT join marching band people!

* * *

**Writer's Block 6: Visiting Hours**

"He's okay," was the only thought that went through Eli's mind. Adam wasn't dying and now he could breathe. He and Clare had raced to the hospital in Morty as soon as the interrogator was done with them. The man had asked both of them really annoyingly personal questions:

"What is Clare to you?"  
"Did you see the perpatrators' faces?"  
"How do you know Ms. Torres?"

All of which he answered with as little truth as he could; who doesn't hate the cops? _Now_, he paced back and forth.

Drew was in Adam's hospital room along with the rest of their family. Clare was sitting next to Alli, whispering something he didn't care about right then, dried tears on her cheeks. Eli just kept pacing and, to make it worse, he just couldn't get the interrogator's slip-up out of his head. _Miss_ Torres? Adam was a guy, but police always got their facts straight. It was probably nothing; just the nerves getting to him, but there was still a nagging suspicion in the back of his head...

Drew and two older ladies walked out of the room, each looking a bit more relieved than before they walked in. "Drew, Nanna and I are going to go down to the cafateria." He assumed that was the infamous Mrs. Torrres. From what Drew had told Eli about her she cared _waaaay_ too much about what others thought about her. In public she was strict and ran away from her troubles but as soon as the curtains closed she was laid back and loved her sons. He'd also recently found out that Drew and Adam were step-brothers. Kind of hard to believe since Drew was a star athlete and ladies man while Adam..._wasn't.  
_  
Step. Step. Step.

"If you keep that up you're going to wear a path into the floor." Clare warned him half-heartedly. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly. "It's going to be okay." Eli attempted a smile, but only managed a screwed up grimace. He _couldn't _and _wouldn't _be comforted until he saw Adam in one piece, safe and sound.

"Uh, guys?" Eli stopped mid-step; left foot pivoting so that he could turn around. Drew looked from each of their faces and then to the ground in turn.

"Yeah Drew?" Clare asked in a small voice since Eli couldn't manage to find his. Alli, sensing Drew's discomfort, stood up and walked over to her boyfriend, holding his hand tight in her own.

"Um, there's something I need to tell you. It isn't really my secret to share, but I thought you two especially-" Drew looked at Eli and Clare, then to their still twined hands, "should know." Clare and Adam were actually pretty good friends. Since they were in the same grade they had a few classes together and sometimes even hung out during lunch. Eli didn't know him too well, but he'd talked to him a few times. The Dead Hand concert they had won tickets to a while back was what really got them to be somewhat friends but Eli never got a name before the locker incident. The three teens waited silently, urging him on. Somehow, Eli knew this wasn't going to be the good news he was looking for. Drew sighed heavily, running his long fingers through his hair in exasperation.

"Have you ever noticed anything...odd... about Adam?" He started hesitantly, attempting to ease into the news. Each of them shook their head yes, all for different reasons. Whether it be his lack of guy knowledge, or his feminine looks, or even the way he flinched when rough-housing with the rest of the guys, there was definitely something off about Adam Torres. "Well, that's because he isn't exactly who you think he is." Eli's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "He's still the same person only...not a...guy."

At first none of them responded. The information went in, floating around in their head. They looked like picture books; their expressions changing from confused, to contemplative, to aghast, then even more confused exactly in turn.

"Wait, so you mean that Adam's a..."

"Girl. Yeah." It got really awkward really fast. The _**GUY**_ they'd all come to know was a _girl_. It's like their whole outlook on him changed. All of the wierd responses, baggy clothes, and girlish characteristics suddenly took on a whole new meanining.

Eli felt the world beginning to spin, so he sat down, clutching Clare's hand as if for dear life. There weren't many people he trusted in life. That he truly sincerely believed in. It took a while to worm your way into his life, let alone become anything remotely similar to friends with him, but once you did, it was pretty solid. His only friend (sorta) was a girl. Okay, he could deal with that. Adam was still Adam no matter what. He'd never believed in judging people anyway.

"Her name used to be Gracie, but when she...switched...she changed it to Adam. It was so long ago that all of it doesn't even matter to me anymore, but when I found out that some _bastard_ threw my baby sister into a glass wall-" Drew stopped, hands clenched. "I want to _kill_ them. _So bad _right now. If I _ever_ find out who did it-" He trailed off, not even needing to finish that sentence. Clare and Eli exchanged a look. He swallowed uncomfortably. Eli knew who did it and the scary thing was that he had no obligations when it came to handing that information over. Heck! He'd _help _Drew kick the crap out of them! Anyone who beat up girls for entertainment had it coming to them, but was it really the right thing to do?

* * *

"So, did you tell Eli yet?" Alli asked somewhat casually as they walked down to the cafateria. Clare grimaced.

"No. I haven't had a chance. Plus I'm still trying to talk to my mom about all of this." Alli nodded her head, a small smile on her face. Clare would know that look on her face anywhere. "Okay, spill. What do you know that I don't?" Clare said playfully. Alli just continued to skip down the halls, a huge smile on her face.

"_Weeeeeellll_, I _sorta_ talked to my brother's new girlfriend about you moving, who _in turn_ talked to her best friend about it_. Then _she said that if you wanted to you could stay with her at her_ ginormous _condo." Alli stated in her 'too good to be true' gossip voice. Clare, however, was still stuck on sorting out the information.

"Wait, so Sav's girlfriend is Holly J right?" Alli nodded. It's crazy how much you miss in a week. Wasn't she just with Declan? "So you told her I was moving and she talked to her best friend named...?" Alli sighed.

"Fiona Coyne! Sheesh! Keep up Clare!" Her eyes widened.

"Declan's _sister_ Fiona! She said I could live with her? I hardly know her! Why would she-" she asked disbelieving.

"Fiona told me that she would be _honored _if Prop Master Clare would live with her and that Declan would probably get a good laugh out of it." At that Clare had to smile. She decided to just enjoy the high she was flying on right now. Home problems would come later but right now she was okay. Adam was okay, Eli hadn't passed out from an aneurism yet, and she was hanging out with her best friend for the first time in weeks. Things were okay.

* * *

Visiting hours were over.

Eli had sat next to the unconcious Adam for what seemed like hours. Adam had only suffered a slight concussion, though he had lots of cuts, so he was supposed to wake up within a day or two. Almost all of his cuts needed stitches. Just a constant reminder of why they were here. It was still a bit of a shock when he looked down at Adam and saw breasts where there used to be a flat chest. Then he's think to himself "Oh yeah, Adam's a girl." It would certainly take some getting used to. did he treat him like a guy or a girl? Was he allowed to let one rip in front of him or was he supposed to hold it in? Everything was so confusing now.

Eli rose from his chair steadily. Drew and the rest of his family had already gone home, along with Alli. A few hours after that Clare mentioned something about talking to Fiona Coyne and then left as well. Eli left the quiet room, slowly shutting the door behind him. He walked the now silent halls of the hospital, reliving his worst fears and nightmares.

Abby had spent a few hours in a hospital. Of course, she was already dead by that point, but they needed to 'confirm' what they already knew. She had killed herself and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do to change that.

The next time he came was two years later. There had been a car crash. He and his girlfriend, Julia, were fighting. The sun had been shining, the sky was blue, and the road was clear. The perfect day. She had decided on her own that it was okay to go and meet his parents. It was the worst idea ever and, naturally, he argued against it, but she was deadset on going. To make a very _very_ long story short, he wasn't paying enough attention to the road, so when the big rig next to them blew a few tires he noticed too many seconds too late. Eli lived and she didn't. It was as simple as that. The last thing he ever said to her was, "You're such an idiot."

The most recent time he'd been inside a hospital was ninth grade. Someone at school had been stabbed with a knife. The bully had it coming but obviously it didn't make a difference to anyone else. After that, Eli's hands were painted red, his clothes dark. He'd done something bad. He had hurt his bully, but now he was even more alone than before. No one found out it was him but he knew. That was all that mattered. His concience was slowly eating him alive. One day he figured, '_If I give something of even value back, maybe I'd stop feeling so guilty_.' And so began the cutting. He _**cut **_and _**cut**_ and _**cut**_. The scars were all along his arms to prove it, but the grief and guilt still weighed him down, slowly becoming heavier and heavier each day. If he hadn't found Clare at Degrassi he didn't know for sure if he'd still be alive to walk the cold halls of the place he dreaded so much.

Eli got into Morty slowly. That was all in the past now. He was over it. At least, as much as he'd ever be. The car went into drive and he pulled out of the parking lot. For once, he wasn't blasting and music and a smirk wasn't on his face. He was just... mellow, for lack of better description. The calm before the storm. The trees blurred as he drove by but finally, he entered familiar, more calming, territory. The narrow strip of road expertly winded through the hills and hills of tombstones. After a few more tediously long minutes his grandparents' home eventually came into view.

"Home sweet home, right?" Eli whispered to himself. He knew the routine. Smile, converse, and retreat to the solitude of your room. Whatever it takes to assure them that you're okay. He didn't know where home was. Either way right now he wanted to sleep which required coming to this house. He went to turn into the driveway but stopped, shocked. Where he usually parked was a black M3 BMW. His grandma drove a golf cart everywhere and his grandpa had an old beat up Lexus. He'd know that car anywhere though. Eli hopped out of his car, disbelieving. How could he have forgotten about something so life-shatteringly important!

"Surprise!" He spun around frantically. There, at the bottom of the walkway, were his overbearing, cookie cutter, home-wrecking parents.

_'Could this day get any worse?'_

* * *

"So, I can stay?" Clare asked hopefully. She had talked it over with Fiona, who whole-heartedly welcomed her, and decided that it might be fun to live with the fashionista. She'd dealt with Alli so how much worse could Fiona really be?

"I guess," Clare squealed. Totally out of character, no matter how fitting it was to the conversation. "but you have to call and e-mail me! I'll check in on you once a month, so make sure to behave yourself! It was very nice of this Fiona girl to open her home to you." So true. If it weren't for Fiona, Clare would be forced to move all the way to British Columbia with her mother.

"Thank you!Thank you!Thank you!" Clare said happily, practically jumping up and down. She hadn't been sure her mom would say yes. Now she could stay with all of her friends and Eli. Plus, she wouldn't have to tell him that she was moving to another province. That would have sucked. _Bad_.

"I'll still pay all of your bills and send money for food and clothes, okay?" she nodded checked the time. Visiting hours had to be over by now. She really needed to share the news with someone. All of her friends were busy though. She, however, was on cloud nine. A rumor was going around school that K.C knocked up Jenna and wasn't staying with her. It was sad, but at the same time she felt a sense of victory. K.C got what he deserved and Jenna now knew what it felt like to be abandoned. All was right with the world. Alli's relationship was going well with Drew, meaning she would be blowing off Clare for him until they broke up; probably in the near future. Then since Adam wasn't exactly able to_ talk _at the moment that only left Eli. A while ago, when she still lived with her dad, he gave her his headphones, phone number and address in case she ever needed to talk.

Well, she _really _needed to talk.

Clare pulled on a jacket, quickly pulling on some shoes better suited for walking. "I'll be back soon Mom!" Then she was out the door. It took _forever_ to find Eli's house on foot. She backtracked _at least_ five times. She had harbored some suspicions about him being the type to live at a cemetary but she never seriously considered it. Obviously he did; the mansion was _huge_. Hands down the largest property she'd ever seen. There were three cars in the driveway; one of them a hearse so she knew it had to be his house. It wasn't exactly a common vehicle. She drew in an unsteady breath, a bit nervous about the whole thing. She was coming to his house unannounced. Somehow she knew this was going to end in awkward silence.

_Knock__**. **__Knock__**. **__Knock__**.  
**_  
She wrung her hands nervously. Hopefully Eli would spare her some embarrassment and open the door himself. She heard someone walk up to the intricate cherrywood door and her heartbeat sped up. Slowly, it opened wide. A lady with piercing green eyes and curly black hair stared back at her, sizing her up. Apparently Clare passed the test, because the intimidating lady replaced her harsh glare with a curious smile.

"Who are you?" Clare opened her mouth to answer, only to be beat to the punch.

"Clare?"

* * *

**A/N- Hooray! I liked this chappie. It tied up a lot of loose ends. I hope it was worth the wait! Now, if you excuse me I have to go write the next chappie of A Change of Pace:)**

_**NEXT TIME!**_

**-Eli goes takes on a few bad habits**

**-Alli finds Drew in an odd situaton **

**-Clare and Eli take a few steps back**

**Soooo, now you know. Any suggestions? If I have my way this story will be done before the lockdown on Thursday. I know how it's ending:) It will be AWESOME! How should I portray Eli's dad? I kinda wanna make him dorky since his mom's so mean. Oh, does Eli having to flat iron his hair amuse you? I think it's hilarious. **


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